


Walls and Shards

by Arisprite, username_goes_here



Series: Yuuko Ichihara’s Hitsuzen: Four Star Restaurant and Bar [12]
Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Communication is hard, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5897635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arisprite/pseuds/Arisprite, https://archiveofourown.org/users/username_goes_here/pseuds/username_goes_here
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course, not everything could be chocolates and roses, and nothing lasts forever...</p><p>But, Watanuki and Doumeki both didn't expect it to hurt this much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry this took so long. I had a few prewritten chunks from username_goes_here and my brainstorming way back when, but when I tried to put it together, I kept getting stuck. I took a step back, and found out that I was attempting to write the story out of order. Once I got that fixed, it flowed pretty well. I hope you enjoy, it's not going to be as fun as last time...
> 
> As always, a big thanks to Rémy (aka, username_goes_here) for coming up with the first idea of this, and brainstorming and writing so much with me. Miss working with you, darling!

“Order’s up!”

Watanuki’s throat was going hoarse from how often he’d yelled that tonight. It was a busy day, on top of a busy week, on top of an already busy job. Not that Watanuki was complaining-

Wait, no. He _was_ complaining. This was ridiculous. Multiple people had sent back their food, complaints were flooding the kitchen, and he’d already yelled at Sorata _twice_ to focus on his chopping, and stop distracting everyone with his stories about his girlfriend. Not to mention his damn questions about Doumeki, about how it was going, what they did. Watanuki had spazzed at him, flailing arms, before heading back to the stove.

Watanuki stirred his sauce quickly, before lifting the ladle and drizzling it over the noodles, with a practiced flip of his wrist. He then sent it sliding it to the window where servers picked up their plates. Himawari took that one, with a quick smile, but Watanuki had already turned to the next five orders.

See, the thing with Doumeki was… well, that though everyone knew that they’d gone out, only a few knew that they were _still_ going out. Because they were. Still going out. And that was weird, because Watanuki had _never_ kept up a relationship for this long. It had been over two months. The absolute limit had been the one month and twenty seven days he’d been with Matt. And if the restaurant, i.e. Yuuko, knew that he was still saying yes to dates, and kissing Doumeki… well, it would just be really bad, especially if they broke up soon.

Because Watanuki always broke up before long. Yes, this was a record, but it didn’t mean anything. It didn’t. So what if Watanuki kissed him back, and sometimes caught himself staring a little too closely to find expressions and count those faint freckles? It didn’t mean anything!

Watanuki’s musings were cut short when a server brought back _yet another_ order.

“Dammit, Hideki, get the order right the first time!” Watanuki snapped, yanking the plate back to redo as quickly as he could, while also making it look halfway decent.

“Watanuki!” called Doumeki through the server window, and Watanuki startled, but then pretended he didn’t, looking back to his two meals in front of him.

“What?” he yelled, over the noise in the kitchen.

“Table 27 wants the steak _well_ done,” he said, loudly.

Watanuki finished plating the first redo order, and shoved it through towards Hideki. “Table 27 said they wanted chicken! What the hell are you doing out there? Can’t you take a damn order?”

Watanuki didn’t look up, finishing another plate, and shoving it through. He knew that it was probably the customer, but whatever. Doumeki was the messenger, and Watanuki was not pleased. “Table 27 can wait! I’ve remade that order too many times; they’re at the back of the line!”

Doumeki frowned, looking angry and frazzled. “The kids had chicken, the mom wanted steak well done. You’ve messed up twice, and they’re pissed!”

Watanuki glanced through the window, meeting Doumeki’s eyes with a glare.

“I’ve got a stack up of fifteen orders here, Doumeki! Deal with it!”

Doumeki put the plate down with the rare steak on it, and shoved it onto the window ledge. He was still behind the other plates, and he hadn’t cut, but there was enough annoyance in the gesture that Watanuki felt himself bristle even more in response. He reached over and took the plate, dumping the steak onto the grill, and picking up another one that had just reached well done.

“Either tell table 15 or table 27 that they’ll have to wait - just fix it!” he said, shoving the steak towards Doumeki. Doumeki took it without saying a word, and Watanuki growled, and turned back to the stove, but not before he heard another server speak to Doumeki.

“Benefits of dating the chef, huh,” the guy said bitterly, and Watanuki squeezed the spoon handle he held, and almost stirred the sauce out of the pot.

~~~~

Doumeki got off before him, and Watanuki closed to the restaurant _finally_ being blessedly silent. Sorata was just finishing up on his silverware, and Yuuko was in the back locking down, while Watanuki cleaned the last of the kitchen stations he’d worked at today, feeling dead on his feet. He sighed out heavily running the sanitation rag over the stove one last time, before he dropped it back into the bucket, and peeled off his gloves. The night crew would come in and clean a little later more fully, but it felt good to wipe off the food specks of the day. Now, all he needed a good night’s sleep, and he’d be ready for another shift tomorrow. It would be Saturday, so it’d probably be just as busy, but that was fine.

He heard clicking heels behind him, before Yuuko spoke.

“Phew! What a day,” Yuuko sighed. “I’ve never seen so many customers!”

Watanuki shrugged. “Friday nights.”

Yuuko flipped her wrist, as if she were holding a cigarette. She’d quit since he’d been hired, but Watanuki thought she might miss it. “It’s not just that. You’re doing well, you know.”

With a slump, Watanuki leaned on the counter. “The number of complaints I got today might imply otherwise.”

“Tosh. You kept up, and delivered wonderful meals. Not all restaurant chefs that busy can say the same.”

Watanuki turned his head, a touched smile lifting up on his cheeks. “You really think so?” he beamed, and she clicked her tongue. But Watanuki’s happy bubble was burst a moment later.

“Your treatment of the staff, however,” Yuuko said, displeasure coming into her voice. “I could hear you yelling at them all the way back in my office. Especially poor Doumeki.”

Watanuki winced, and then went red, frowning hard. “I shouldn’t have yelled at them. But, what’s that got to do with Doumeki?”

The look Yuuko was giving him was almost pitying, and made Watanuki bristle.

“You yelled at him today more than anyone else. I thought you two were getting along?”

Watanuki’s immediate response, that he yelled at him all the time, and Doumeki didn’t care, would make Yuuko angry even though it was true. Other than that, what remained was to turn away, and grab his bag, and bike helmet.

“It’s none of your business,” he said. Yuuko sighed, and let him walk passed.

“I’m just saying, you should treat him better, or you’ll look up one day to find that he has gone.”

“Good riddance!” Watanuki snapped, not entirely meaning it. Yuuko rolled her eyes, and waved her hand.

“Well, I hope you can live with your choices then.”

Watanuki ‘tched, and left the restaurant, biking home in the late darkness, with Yuuko’s words ringing in his ears.

~~~~

The next day, Watanuki didn’t see Doumeki. Like, at all. Which was weird, because Doumeki made a point of dropping by his apartment or the restaurant on his days off, and when they both worked, or both had it off, well, they spent the time together regardless. And if he couldn’t get over there, he’d text Watanuki annoying random things all day. And Doumeki had today off. Watanuki remembered, because he’d checked the schedule hanging on Yuuko’s office wall, and their days off didn’t align this week. But, Doumeki was absent from his place, and the restaurant, and his phone’s inbox all day.

Not that Watanuki checked his apron pocket whenever he didn’t have ticket to make.

On his break, Watanuki went up to the front, to check the dining room, and talk to Himawari at the hostess stand.

“Hi Watanuki,” she said as he came up, “How’s the back?”

Watanuki waved vaguely behind him, half shrugging.

“Oh, it’s fine.” They had made it through the Saturday night dinner rush, and now it was close to closing, so servers were already congratulating themselves on making it through the weekend. Sunday was never nearly as bad. “Any new parties?”

Himawari smiled, checked her list and shook her head. “Not for the moment, knock on wood. Maybe, we’re through for the night.”

“Shh, don’t say things like that, Himawari!” Sorata butted in, passing by with someone’s dirty dishes. “Watanuki, we’ve got a dessert order.”

“Okay, I’ll be right there.” Watanuki rubbed his neck as Sorata walked off, and then glanced back at Himawari. He wanted to ask her… well, it was stupid, he should just go make that person’s pie, or whatever it was they wanted.

“Is something wrong?” Himawari asked, and Watanuki waved his hands.

“Oh, no! Everything’s fine, really! Just-” Watanuki glanced around. Himawari did too, and then leaned in closer to hear him ask in an undertone. “Did you see Doumeki in here today?”

Himawari’s eyebrows went up. “Oh, no, I didn’t see him. At least, not during my shift. But it was busy in here, I could ask around?”

“No, no, no, it’s no big deal, I just-” Watanuki sighed, his face reddening. “I hadn’t heard from him today, and, so…” he trailed off, but Himawari seemed to understand.

“That’s unusual.” She smiled in understanding, and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

“I know he’s fine!” Watanuki pressed his lips together. “I’m just wondering why he’s being a dumbass and not telling anyone where he is.”

HImawari smiled sympathetically at him, before patting him on the shoulder and stepping away, her eyes going to the door. Watanuki turned to see a party of at least seven walk in. Complete with small children, and forty-five minutes to closing. Great.

“I’m sorry, Watanuki. I hope you get a hold of him. I’m sure he’s just caught up in homework,” Himawari said, as she began smiling at the door. “Hi! Welcome in to the Hitsuzen! How many today?”

Watanuki nodded, and left her alone to do her job, hurrying to the back to put together that dessert before the party of eight plus two children were ready to order. Ughh..

~~~~

Watanuki was more than relieved to see a text from Doumeki the next morning. It was one of those amazing, sunny days, a Sunday nearing the end of May, that was just perfect for cleaning. Watanuki had picked a few things off his standing list, gotten his apron on, and checked his phone (not for a message from Doumeki, but he still hadn’t heard, even when Watanuki had texted a tentative good night message, unsure what to do) to see a brief note from the bastard.

_What are your plans for the day?_ it read. Watanuki knew that Doumeki had a shift that afternoon, but it was still early, and they hadn’t seen each other yesterday, and Watanuki didn’t know why that felt so weird. Still, he wasn’t about to let Doumeki know his strange turmoil over his dumb boyfriend’s busy schedule.

_Don’t you have work?_ he texted back, and put it down and cleaned the table off, before checking for a reply.

_Not til 4_ was the sparse response. Watanuki held his phone, looking down on it with a frown on his face. It sounded like today, Doumeki wanted to do something together. But, well, today Watanuki had _plans_. He was cleaning, and that was that, and Doumeki would just have to find some other way of entertaining himself. His phone dinged with another text.

_Want to see you_.

Watanuki blushed. Texted back without thinking.

_Do you want to come over?_ he asked, and then kicked himself. _Argh, I mean, I’m cleaning so I’m busy, but-_ he stopped and hit send before he could erase it.

_But?_

_I have to get my list done today._ Watanuki did, he really had a lot to do, and he didn’t need Doumeki around distracting him on his only day off, thank you very much.

_Do you want any help? Or company?_

_You want to help clean my apartment?_ Watanuki texted back, frowning harder.

_There can’t be that much to clean_ Doumeki texted, okay, making a good point. Watanuki breathed out, put on hand on his hip, before replying.

_I’m planning a good, deep clean. I’ve been needing to get that done all spring. It’ll be so clean, you could eat off the floors!_

_The table’s good enough for me_

Watanuki blinked, and then scoffed.

_I’m keeping the table, dumbass. It’s an expression! And if you want to come over, you’re helping! Don’t think I’ll let you slack off._

_Fine_ Doumeki responded. Watanuki huffed, feeling annoyance at himself.

_Fine, be over in 15. I’ve got work to do._

Doumeki agreed, and Watanuki nodded, and put the phone on the table, before turning to the sink to begin filling it up for the stove top grates. He wanted to get a good portion done before Doumeki got here and distracted him.


	2. Chapter 2

Doumeki sighed as he knocked on Watanuki’s apartment door, fourteen minutes after the last text. He was tired, and even though he’d sent the first text, Doumeki wasn’t sure he was pleased that Watanuki had invited him over. He hadn’t lied when he said he wanted to see Watanuki, but more and more, he’d been confused and exhausted with the chaos, the constant tug of war between the two of them. Watanuki connecting, engaging, and then yelling at him with the drop of a hat. Now, he’d never been in a relationship before, but he didn’t think it was supposed to be like this. 

The other day had been rough, and Doumeki purposefully stepped back yesterday, not wanting to put himself in the line of fire again. He was glad he didn’t have work, and he’d been able to just go to class, pour himself into homework, and watch a movie with his roommates for once during the evening. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from hurting a bit that Watanuki didn’t reach out, or even text until night time, and then it was a good night with no mention of why Doumeki might have been avoiding him. 

Perhaps it was unfair, but Doumeki didn’t have unending patience. 

Still, the knock sounded, and Doumeki found his heart jumping a little when the door pulled open. Watanuki appeared, wearing a scarf on his head and an apron around his middle, face already heightened into something like a frenzy. 

“Now, I hope you’re ready to clean, because I plan to put you to work!” he declared, and Doumeki lifted an eyebrow, before glancing around. The apartment appeared, as always, nearly spotless. 

“What do you want me to do?” he said, wondering if he should bring up what had happened? Or if Watanuki would? But, it looked like nothing would be mentioned, as Doumeki couldn’t get the words out and Watanuki was nodding to his question, a finger to his lips. 

“I have a long list, which you interrupted,” he said imperiously, shaking out a little paper, and peering at it. Doumeki frowned a little more. “I want to make sure everything is done _right_. So, you’re certainly not touching my bedroom, or the bathroom. The floor will be tricky; it needs a very particular touch for the tile… so I better do that. And the window tracks are hard as well, I can’t have an idiot like you messing that up, I’d have to hover over you to make sure, so I might as well do that too…” Watanuki trailed off, perhaps realizing that he’d trampled over every item on the list, and insulted Doumeki at ever turn to boot. 

“You brought your homework, right? I’d rather you be doing _something_ instead of being lazy while I clean.” 

Perhaps he hadn’t realized. Ah, well, it’s not like Watanuki ever realized the possible effects of the things he said. Doumeki tamped down the stupid hurt feelings (yet again), and nodded, glancing down to the plastic bag in his hand. The edges were straining out with the square book, and notebook he had stuffed in there, after his bag broke at school that morning, while studying in the library. 

Watanuki’s face gaped, overblown horror widening his eyes. 

“Oh my god, please tell me you’re not using that as a school bag.” Watanuki’s voice was flat. Doumeki tried not to bristle at yet another implied insult. 

“The bag broke today,” Doumeki said, voice even flatter. Watanuki huffed, and waved his hand around a bit, before he held up a finger. 

“Hold on!” he said, and ran towards the back of the apartment. He returned a moment later with a beat up canvas backpack, and held it out. “Here. Thank me.” 

Doumeki took it, and poked his finger through a tear at the top. 

“It’s all holey.” 

Watanuki huffed. “It’s the best I have. At least it’s only one hole, that’s been there since Sophomore year. It continues to work, unlike that stupid plastic bag.” 

Doumeki shrugged, and dropped both the plastic bag and the canvas one on the table, to dump out his homework, since that’s all he was capable of doing, apparently. It was chemistry today, his minor, and at least the problems would distract him from Watanuki’s ridiculousness. Watanuki cleaned around him, and it was weird, and awkward, and Doumeki was wishing he hadn’t come at all. 

When Watanuki was cleaning the kitchen floor, he bent under the table Doumeki was sitting at, and pushed at his feet, so Doumeki stood and moved back. 

“I can move the chairs,” Doumeki said, beginning to pull the chairs over to the carpeted area. 

“I don’t- fine,” Watanuki responded, and they worked together for a moment, moving all four of the chairs out of the way, before Watanuki ducked back under the table, quickly scrubbing the floor. Doumeki stood uncomfortably, shoving one hand in his pocket. 

“I can do this somewhere else if I’m in the way,” Doumeki said. Watanuki shook his head, and got up, pushing the table back where it was supposed to be, and picking up Doumeki’s pencil that had fallen to the floor. 

“I’m done,” he said, and Doumeki nodded, took the pencil and got back to work. 

Probably to break the odd silence, Watanuki began talking while he worked on the kitchen. Doumeki half listened, focusing on his schoolwork, even as his brain drifted around. It’s not like Watanuki even needed him to listen anyway; he was complaining about work, or the day, or something else, and all Doumeki needed to do was make appropriate listening noises and he’d keep going. 

“One star on yelp! Can you believe it? I just don’t get it. I know I’m not trained or anything, but I make good food! Maybe I was just in a rush… you know what? No! That guy just has no taste! That’s exactly it, they can’t all be like _you_ \- eat anything that’s put in front of you as long as it’s four stars. God, what a snob. A gluttonous snob, who would’ve thunk...” 

Watanuki chattered on, but Doumeki didn’t really listen further, since, hey he was being insulted again. He hadn’t been paying that much attention, trying to do chem equations, and he didn’t really know the context of why Watanuki was saying that, but honestly, it was all just a little too much. 

Doumeki silently stood, and started packing his things into the bag Watanuki had given him. Watanuki didn’t notice for a moment, then he turned and his words faltered. 

“Where are you going?” Watanuki asked, and Doumeki paused at the edge of the kitchen, hearing the confusion in Watanuki’s voice. Doumeki couldn’t think of what to say, but he was definitely regretting coming over, regretting giving in and reaching out again. Two days ago, he’d spent all day yelling at him, and today would be no different if he stayed. 

Doumeki moved forward again, bending down for his shoes. 

“Hey, what is your problem?” Watanuki asked again, coming forward from the kitchen. “Are you sick or something?” 

Doumeki took a breath, and turned around, even though he didn’t want to see Watanuki’s confusion, or try to explain why. 

“I’m tired,” he said, and he was. He was tired of putting up protective walls against someone he was supposed to opening up to, someone he was _trying_ to build a relationship with, but who was constantly tearing down his work and stomping on it. Watanuki frowned. 

“You wanted to come over,” he said, scratching his head, and then pulling off his head scarf with annoyance. Too bad, it was kind of cute. Doumeki sighed, and decided that not looking at Watanuki was better, so he reached down to do up his shoe lace. 

“Yeah,” Doumeki said. Words wouldn’t come.

“But-” Watanuki broke off, before he took another step. “Did I do something? I said something, didn’t I?” 

“You’re always saying something,” Doumeki said, reluctantly. Watanuki let out a breath. 

“Is this because of the other day?” Watanuki asked, and Doumeki rubbed his head, turning halfway around again. 

“I don’t… think this is working,” Doumeki said, slowly. Watanuki’s eyes widened as he finally realized what Doumeki was talking about. 

“Not working?” he said softly, sounding so surprised. He honestly had no idea, did he? The idiot. 

Watanuki stammered, looking at him, like he suddenly was afraid to lose him. Well, it was a nice feeling, that Watanuki might care enough to protest, to fight, but it wasn’t enough. Not at this point. 

“I don’t think so,” Doumeki breathed, and Watanuki reached out. 

“But,” he said, putting a hand almost to his arm, and then pulling back. “If it’s about those things I was saying, I- well, I, I don’t mean those things. I don’t- well, maybe sometimes, but…” 

Doumeki turned to Watanuki, anger finally winning out over the hurt. 

“If you don’t mean it, then why do you say it?” he said, voice sharp. Watanuki flinched back. Doumeki too blinked at himself. He didn’t do this sort of thing: get angry, snap at people, but Watanuki brought out a lot in him that had never been to the surface before. Maybe that was part of the problem. Or an indication that he needed to fix this and not give up? Argh, Doumeki didn’t know. Was it too much to ask for reassurance that Watanuki even cared? 

Watanuki looked so honestly surprised that Doumeki sighed in pity, as Watanuki gathered his thoughts. “I don’t… it just happens. You frustrate me, but I don’t, I don’t hate you.” 

“News to me,” Doumeki said, quieter. Which was not quite true, but in certain moments… Doumeki rubbed his eyes, sighing into his hand. 

“Is it?” Watanuki asked, in the quietest voice Doumeki had ever heard him use. “I wouldn’t- I don’t spend time with people I hate. I really…” 

He trailed off, an Doumeki closed his eyes, his emotions in a turmoil, a swirl that only Watanuki had ever incited in him. They were things he couldn’t name or figure out what to do with, drawing him closer and closer to this boy, who usually snapped and yelled for his troubles. He didn’t want to end it, he didn’t want to stop what had become a habit - coming over, eating his food, teasing and poking at him. But he couldn’t take the imbalance. He wanted more… more what? He didn’t know. 

Watanuki’s shoulders deflated, and he dipped his head. 

“Okay,” he said. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll…” 

What he’d do remained unclear, but Doumeki breathed out. Watanuki was letting him go. So he’d go. 

“I’m sorry too,” he said, and put his hand on the door knob. Then, he opened it and stepped out. 

Watanuki didn’t stop him. 

~

Doumeki went home, for lack of a better place to be. He had his work uniform in his car, since he’d expected to stay at Watanuki’s until it was time to head to his shift, and he still had a little under four hours before he’d have to leave for that. His apartment was quiet when he opened the door, and he realized how little he’d been here the past two months. Two months he’d spent at Watanuki’s every free moment. 

He opened his bedroom door, to find LaVon on his bed, opposite Doumeki’s, bobbing his head to music in his headphones and tapping away at something on his laptop. Doumeki shuffled in, and dropped his backpack on his bed, and his uniform onto the desk chair, before LaVon noticed him. 

“Heyo,” LaVon said, taking one earbud out. “What’s up man, you look like someone ran over your dog.” 

Doumeki winced at the imagery, before shrugging. He kind of felt like that too, but he didn’t want to talk about it. 

“It’s nothing,” he said, bending down to pull open the drawers under his bed. He felt exhausted, but also there was a tension growing, a knot inside his stomach that he knew wouldn’t go away any time soon. He decided to go on a hard run, but it probably wouldn’t help much. 

LaVon frowned, and pulled his attention from his computer a little more. 

“You sure, man? I usually can’t tell what emotion you’re showing, but right now, if I had to guess, I’d say you look really upset.” 

Doumeki ducked to change into his running shorts, and hide his face, then pulled his shirt over his head, and replaced it. Then, he jammed his headphones into his ears, and turned up the music, before waving shortly and then turning around to leave. He heard LaVon call his name again, but he didn’t respond, leaving the door unlocked behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

The door had clicked closed a while ago, but Watanuki was still… well, frozen. He hadn’t moved except to pull off the dumb rubber gloves he’d been wearing through that whole. Arguement? It had barely even been a conversation. 

He’d just… left. Doumeki, who had been around in some context for over a year, who’d been a huge part of his life for two months, who he’d agreed to go out with, kissed and held hands with, whom he’d spent the most time with since his high school friends… was gone. 

Watanuki had never been dumped before. Matt was close, but Watanuki had known that that was coming and agreed quickly that it wasn’t working. Otherwise, he’d always ended it. Today, he’d had _no_ idea that Doumeki was feeling that way: that this ‘wasn’t working’ and that he was close enough to the breaking point to get up and leave. It- Watanuki’s eyes filled with angry tears, and he dashed them away quickly - it wasn’t fair! How was he supposed to know that Doumeki was upset, if Doumeki never acted any differently? He could have said something! 

Watanuki threw himself into cleaning for the next few hours, before there was a knock on his apartment door. Watanuki opened it, and refused to acknowledge the burst of hope, and subsequent crushing thereof as it revealed a beaming Yuuko, and not… someone else. He blinked at her. 

“Yuuko? What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?” 

Yuuko was draped against his door frame, and blinked slowly at him, in a way that was meant to show him how much of an idiot he was being. 

“I’m your employer, Watanuki. I have all your information in the company records.” 

Watanuki grimaced. “Well that’s… creepy. Still, you’re my employer, you shouldn’t just come over to my house, unannounced.” 

She brought up a long thin bag that could only hold one type of bottle, and Watanuki frowned. 

“I don’t drink, you know.” 

“Ah, but I recall a work Christmas party last year~” 

Watanuki grimaced at the memory. Well, half a memory. 

“I’ll rephrase. Yuuko, I don’t drink _with you_.” 

“Oh, relax. You don’t _have_ to drink it, after all. Do you have cups?” 

Watanuki sighed, and let her in, warning her to not track anything in on his shining floors or mar his glittering counters. Stepping back, he could see that perhaps he’d gone a little overboard, and surreptitiously, he flexed his cramped and raw fingers from scrubbing. 

He brought down a tumbler, and poured two glasses of water. Then, because he couldn’t help himself, he brought up a little tray of crackers, cut up some cheese, threw some bunches of grapes on there, and served a little array of snacks to go with what he assumed was wine. 

Yuuko poked around while he was preparing it, looking in his cupboards, and making a nuisance of herself. Watanuki couldn’t really find the energy to care. 

“Don’t you have any wine glasses, Watanuki?” she asked, opening his dishwasher. Watanuki frowned. 

“If I did, they wouldn’t be in the dishwasher. Honestly, Yuuko.” 

She laughed, and minced over to the counter to open the paper bag, and pull out, yup, a wine bottle. 

“Oh, you’re perfect, look at these snacks!” 

“You’re going to spoil your dinner,” Watanuki said, pouty as he sat down, and reached for a grape. Come to think of dinner, he had thawed chicken marinating in a ginger honey glaze that he’d meant to cook for dinner that night, and he’d planned as he cleaned and Doumeki did his homework, to cook it ahead of time, so that Doumeki could eat before he went to his shift, since he’d go so late. Obviously that wouldn’t happen. 

Yuuko poured herself a glass of dark red wine, probably far too fine for the time of afternoon, and the quality of his crackers, but she didn’t seem to care. She sipped it, and then breathed out heavily. 

“Ahhh! That is a lovely taste. I’ll have to thank Fai for that.” 

“Who?” Watanuki asked, not really caring. 

“The Maître d’ of my hotel here in town. He’s a new hire, but I did him a favor getting him and his brother jobs. They’re both settling in nicely, I’d say.” 

“Great,” Watanuki said, flatly. Yuuko lowered her glass and eyed him, her gaze narrow. 

“You’re rather put out today, Watanuki.”

“Maybe it’s because my employer just invited herself into my home?” Watanuki replied, but it was lacking his usual bite. Watanuki tried to dredge up his typical energy in their verbal sparring, but it wouldn’t really come. He sighed, and looked down, and Yuuko made a noise that could have indicated understanding, and also could have indicated her remembering where she put her keys. 

“So, there was a reason Doumeki was so down today.”

Watanuki frowned, and glanced at the clock. 5:30. Which meant that Doumeki had been at work for an hour and a half. And if Yuuko was here this soon, then either Doumeki was blabbing - unlikely - or he gave it away just by his appearance. Watanuki didn’t want to think what that could look like, he couldn’t imagine someone being able to get that from Doumeki’s impassive face. 

“Why are you mentioning him?” Watanuki asked, and Yuuko gave him a pitying look, over the rim of her glass. 

“You both have been on cloud nine for the past two months, and it appears the bubble just burst.” She pitched her voice up in the end, asking for an explanation. Watanuki blushed a bit at the implication that he’d been obvious about being either happy or sad now, glowered at the table, and took a gulp of water. 

“It’s none of your business. And why did you come here anywhere? If you wanted to ask me about my personal life, you could have just waited to ambush me at work, like you always do!” Watanuki stood up, pacing. “No, actually don’t, because it’s none of your damn _business_ what I do with Doumeki, or anyone else, and everyone just needs to _butt out!!_ ” 

Yuuko waited for his breathing to slow down a bit after the outburst. 

“So, it’s over then?” she asked, softly, and Watanuki slumped, a hard pang going through his chest. 

“Yes, it’s over. I don’t know why, but it’s over.” 

Watanuki looked at the floor, wanting to cry, because, _god_ this hurt. Why did this hurt like this? He didn’t even _like_ the guy all that much, did he? Doumeki was rude, blunt, far too quiet, and ate like a garbage disposal, but dammit, Watanuki wanted to be with him. But, now he couldn’t. He was confused and angry, but mostly just really, really sad. 

Yuuko stood, and brought over a second tumbler (where had she gotten that so fast?) with a few swallows of wine in it, and held it out to him. Watanuki took a breath, rolled his eyes, and gulped it down. It was bitter, and fruity, and pushed down the lump in his throat. 

“Thanks,” he murmured, and sat down on the stool again. The one where Doumeki always sat. Ugh. 

Yuuko was quiet for a long moment, drinking almost half her wine in one swallow, before she looked at him solemnly. 

“It’s painful to lose someone from your life, and even more so when it’s because of your own actions. But, Doumeki makes his own choices, as do you. However, I wouldn’t have expected that you would give up so easily.” 

Watanuki blinked at her, frowning hard. 

“I’m not _giving up!_ ” he said, flailing his arms around. “But, but there’s nothing to _fix_! He just walked out, I don’t even know what went wrong!” 

Yuuko nodded, sagely, which was annoying. 

“Saying too much and saying too little are both equal and opposite problems.” 

Watanuki rubbed his face. “He did say I was ‘always saying something’. But he never really cared what I said before!” 

“Perhaps he does now.” 

“Argh!” Watanuki pressed his fingers to his eyes, feeling exhausted and frustrated. “Well, why didn’t he tell me? He didn’t have to walk out!” 

Yuuko didn’t reply, and only sipped her wine. Watanuki’s anger left him, only guilt remaining behind in a tangled knot. He knew that he was often unfair with his vitriol towards Doumeki. He’d say one thing in private, and the opposite, loudly, in public. He denied, and demeaned and told everyone that he wouldn’t date Doumeki in a million years. Well, now he couldn’t at all. 

Yuuko smirked slightly at him, still looking sad for him, speaking as if she was reading his mind. 

“They do say… to be careful what you wish for.” 

_______

The next day, a Monday, Watanuki and Doumeki both worked. The schedule was set, in advance, and so they arrived at the same time. Watanuki flinched a little to see Doumeki moving across the parking lot as he locked up his bike, before he straightened up, and met Doumeki’s gaze. 

God, the guy looked ...probably no better than Watanuki looked like. He’d not slept well, thoughts running through his head non stop until late. Later than late. He’d made Yuuko that dinner he’d planned, let her stay and drink, and then drove her home, before walking back in the dark. All that gave him plenty of time to let his thoughts blend together into a mix of guilt, pity and ridiculous sadness that it was all over. Or at least, it could be, if he didn’t do anything. Maybe. Hopefully. 

So, here he was, and Doumeki didn’t avoid his eyes as he stood there. That had to be a start. 

“Hey,” Watanuki said, tentative. Doumeki nodded, and moved to walk past him, before Watanuki reached out, almost enough to grab his arm, but still not quite getting there. “I- I’m sorry.” 

Doumeki stopped, and looked at him, blankly. Which would normally be infuriating, but this time only hurt, because he didn’t deserve to see Doumeki’s real expressions, not when he’d been so awful to him. Watanuki glanced around, and then, seeing they were alone, gripped his own fingers together. 

“I. I like you,” he said, a blush rising up and his eyes dropping to somewhere around Doumeki’s left elbow. “The things I say, they’re stupid, and I shouldn’t, because I don’t… they don’t… mean I don’t like you.” 

He glanced up in time to see Doumeki blink, his blank gaze lifting into slight surprise. Now of all times to begin reading the bastard’s face. 

“Oh,” Doumeki said, the first word he’d heard from him today. 

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?” Watanuki replied, frowning, and then winced. “I meant… not that.”

A stupid habit, and two abrasive personalities. And yet, Watanuki didn’t want to give it up. 

Doumeki breathed out, looking a little more _here_. 

“I like you too,” Doumeki said.

Watanuki’s face was solid red now, but he still said this next part, because it needed to be said. Doumeki needed to hear. 

“I don’t want us to end if I can fix it. I like what we were, and I’m sorry that I’ve been awful.” Watanuki swallowed, and looked at Doumeki more firmly. “So? What can I do?” 

Doumeki looked a little gobsmacked, and damn, was Watanuki really that bad at conveying affection, that Doumeki had no idea? Between last night and today, Watanuki was realizing that he _really_ needed to work on his relationship skills. 

Doumeki reached out, and took his hand, quickly, and if Watanuki hadn’t checked already that there was no one in the small employee parking lot, he’d have been a lot more embarrassed. As it was, he felt a warm feeling begin at the place Doumeki had touched, and spread upwards. 

“You complain and yell about everything. You wouldn’t be you if you didn’t,” Doumeki said. “It’s okay. Most times, it’s okay.” 

Watanuki frowned. “So, some of the times, it’s okay. But not all of the time?” He sighed. “Picky, you’re picky.” 

Doumeki shrugged one shoulder, and Watanuki knew he was being unfair again. 

“Sorry,” Watanuki said, rubbing his hair. “I don’t know why I keep yelling, but I’ll try harder.” 

“Okay,” Doumeki said, his shoulders loosening. His mouth was relaxed, finally, from the hard line it had been in, and Watanuki couldn’t help but smile slightly back at him, relief hitting him, that he was getting another chance. 

Then the heavy metal door swung open, and the noise of a busy restaurant poured out. 

“Hey, I don’t mean to interrupt you guys, but we could kinda use the help in here,” Sorata said, and Watanuki rolled his eyes, before glancing at Doumeki. Doumeki nodded, and Watanuki turned to Sorata. 

“Give us a minute.”

Sorata shrugged. “Okay, but the line of orders is on your own head.” The door slammed and he disappeared. Watanuki took a breath, and turned to look at Doumeki again. Because, yes he was ready to start over, but there was one thing that he needed to ask of Doumeki. 

“So?” he asked him, a blush stubbornly refusing to leave his cheeks. “Can we start over? I won’t yell at you so much, and you _tell me_ when you’re upset?” 

Doumeki’s face had relaxed, but he looked a little nervous. Watanuki really hoped he could do that, because he didn’t know if they could work without that. 

“I’ll try,” he said. Watanuki understood. Complaining wasn’t in Doumeki’s nature, just as much as it was in Watanuki’s. But he’d just have to get over that, because Watanuki didn’t want to walk on eggshells, and worry that he was hurting Doumeki’s feelings without knowing again. Watanuki decided that was enough. 

“We both will,” Watanuki said, nodding firmly. It almost felt like they should shake hands, but Doumeki had other ideas. He reached out, and, giving Watanuki plenty of time to pull away, tugged him to his chest in a hug. Watanuki and he hadn’t hugged too much at all. They’d kissed, but this felt better, more intimate, like they were sharing more of themselves. 

It was strange that Watanuki would categorize that as ‘better’. 

He squeezed Doumeki tighter, and even though the restaurant was waiting for them inside, Watanuki thought he could stay here for… well, a while longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's the end of that one, folks! 
> 
> Interesting thing, as me and Rémy were coming up with different ideas and scenes, they didn't actually break up. Doumeki didn't get out the door before Watanuki was realizing what to say to reassure him. We began with the 'Almost breakup' as we called it, much closer to the beginning of their relationship, and much less a big deal. However, as I've been going through it, more and more things came up in between the beginning of their relationship, and the fight I knew was coming. As more time in their story passed, I began to realize that it couldn't be a small thing. Watanuki was getting set in his dense ways, and Doumeki was getting used to withdrawing rather than talking. As their relationship stagnated, I decided to let Doumeki walk out the door completely. To really shake it up. You can see the results here. Watanuki has committed to really paying attention, rather than just promising not to yell as much, which was in the original. He _knows_ he cares, and he knows that if he's not careful, he'll Doumeki, and that he doesn't want that to happen. It'll change things in my plans, and I'm excited to move forward from this point!


End file.
